Clarby's mother and father shared one amazing evening back in October of 1980 and boom. It’s shake and bake at it’s best, he didn’t help, but he is the product...

Clarby is not like you, he's not like anyone, he's a combination of everyone, he's like a chameleon.

If you are out at the bar and all your friends say you've had enough, Clarby is the one who will do one more round with you.

If you took the early flight home and caught your spouse with someone other then Clarby, he'll take you out and find you a younger, more attractive spouse that will do that thing your previous one always refused, you know that thing with the midget and the goose, nevermind.

Clarby won't judge you when you admit you have a foot fetish.

Clarby won't criticize you if you say you want to go supervise an ex; Clarby always has binoculars and snack foods ready for such occasions.

Clarby is like ice cream. He’ll cheer you up when you’re sad, he’ll celebrate with you when you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.

Clarby would give you the sweatshirt off his back if you are cold, provided you give it back once you’re warm.

Clarby is a lover not a fighter; he’s a friend not a foe; he's a giver not a taker.

When you feel alone in the world Clarby is there.