Clarby is one of those people that brings the umbrella and it doesn't rain, that packs heat but never uses it.  He talks but never listens, he brings a condom but never uses it, its just how it happens.  So when he was told about flex spending of course he thought it to be a great idea.  Classic case of why it is important to read the fine print.

With flex spending one can go to the dentist, the doctor, the chiropractor, the optometrist, the ER, etc and use the debit card they receive to pay for the trip.  A person can also get prescriptions filled or contacts along with a few other items on the tiny list.  All one has to do to use the card is submit a receipt within 90 days.  Even if it is at the same place, for the same amount of money each time.  While it may appear to be very clear that the transaction was a co-pay at a doctors office there is apparently  some chance that Clarby might have concocted some elaborate scheme to beat the system!  So make sure to do this, otherwise they suspend your account.  Yes it is your money, you've already paid for it all out of your paychecks or are paying for it, but they will freeze your card and when you are in line to pay for whatever your card will be declined and you will have to deal with the humiliation if thats how you feel when a card gets declined.  So keep your receipts.  If you don't the billing departments are not allowed to fax them to your office nor can they email them.  They can only fax them to your home or send them snail mail.  Keep in mind thought that they have no way of telling if it is your home or office, so before you answer you don't have a home fax say yes you do and give them your work number.  This violates some confidentiality thing but its stupid.  However if you are an honest person like Clarby you can have them fax the record of the receipt back to your doctors office and your doctor can then fax it to your office.  Kind of seems like a huge pain in the a$$ right?  It is.

So, it has been Clarby's good fortune to have been extremely healthy this year.  Just the routine check ups.  Needless to say he might have put a few pennies too many in the ol' flex account and now he has a few dollars left over. 

Self:  Well no use spending them, maybe next year we will need them. 
Mr. Flex Plan:  blah blah blah
Self:  Wait they don't roll over like unused minutes? 
Mr. Flex Plan:  Something something something something
Self:  Well how about taxing them and giving me the remainder? 
Mr. Flex Plan: harrumph
Self:  No huh.  Hmm well that doesn't seem very fair.  What can I do with them? 
Mr. Flex Plan:  Wah wah, wah wuh wuh, wah
Self: Oh I can buy over the counter medicine and first aid kits and the likes?  Ok, that sounds good, I can do that. 
Senor Flex Plan: Un momento
Self:  Wait I can't buy them at once because that is stock piling?  That seems kind of lame. 
Captain Stuben: Tengo esposa?
Self:  Do I have a wife?  No, why do you ask? 
Flexhole:  Double standard
Self:  Ah, I could by her birth control pills.  Hmm, oh well that would be useful, okay well I would like to practice safe sex one day, can I buy condoms? 
Flexwh*re: Sorry
Self:  No?  But aren't they similar to birth control pills?  In addition to reducing the risk of a pregnancy don't they also help prevent some STD's? 
Flexjerk:  Not the same thing
Self:  Sure they are.  Same end result.  Mr. Flexplan, sir, may Clarby call you that?
Mr. Flexplan sir: No
Self:  Whatever, Clarby is kind of starting to feel like he's being shafted.  He can't help but think his money is going to be gone and he has just paid some company to f*ck him in the a$$.  This isn't Clarby's idea of a good time, you all aren't even minding the step-children!
Mr. Flexplan sir:  He's figured us out, quick suspend his card, pack up the wagons, time to go!!
Self:  Meanwhile back at the ranch

Read the fine print!

Coming soon:  You want powder on you neck?