Clarby is back from being lazy. That's pretty much what his absence boils down to. Work has been crazy busy and trying to write something even remotely interesting or funny was not really in the cards. Don't expect to be knocked off your a$$ right away as it may take him a couple days to get back in the swing of things.
A few things that have happened since my last posting and need to be addressed. Ghost tours at night play tricks on your mind and are awesome. To spice them up, the people on the tour should be allowed to attempt to frighten the tour guide. For instance in a graveyard when the guide goes up to a tomb and opens the door and pretends to be pulled into the grave, maybe a person actually does hide inside and gives her and the other unknowing guests a good shock... Surely the guide would appreciate it as night after night of the same rehearsed tour would be like missionary with the same person for the rest of your life. Or not. Sometimes you need to vary it up, lift a leg, use a wall, go outside, add a friend, wear a wig or an outfit, hide in a grave, etc.
What else has happened?
70's bands at weddings are the only way to go.
Don't get arrested in Virginia...
Don't wear overalls after age 8.
Don't wear overalls after age 8 and attempt to look like a rapper when you clearly look more like Denice the Menace.
If you do wear overalls after age 8, accept the fact that you look like Denice the Menace and purchase a sling shot as opposed to a chainsaw.
Do not book a 7am flight the night after a party where there were 400 jello shots, beer pong, and an everclear based punch...
Do you think Hillary would have been able to work in the oval office? Sure she didn't get the ticket and it will probably never happen, but how weird would that have been? Sitting at the desk where her husband received fellatio and whatever else?! How could she not have thought about that when she was running?! That would be a deal breaker for Clarby, she'd be reminded of it everyday...
We had an election.
Coming soon: Lipozene
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