Maybe Clarissa could, but Clarby can't.Clarby loves getting hair cuts, maybe its because a girl is running her hands all over his head while he kicks back in a in a comfy chair,...
Social networking sites are great. Clarby loves them, until someone with his same name befriends him. Why is this a bad thing? Well because every time other me...
Clarby has a friend that is color blind. Let's put you in his shoes. Well for this example, in a car with him, at night. He struggles to tell the difference...
You remember when you were little and you wanted to be a firefighter, astronaut, veterinarian, cure something, pro athlete, fluffer, the person who cleans the pole...
Clarby can't help but love the good people at Fox News. If it weren't for them he's not sure he would get his daily dose of stupidity. You know, on those days where...
But he chooses not to be. Every blue moon Clarby does something stupid. Takes home the trash instead of bringing it out. Feels sorry for someone when he...
Self: Don't do it, Clarby. Clarby: Uh-uh, baby, I have to. Subject A: Now send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said [Clarby whacks him] Subject A: OW....
Clarby doesn't do breakfast foods very often. Eggs, bacon, sausage, cereal, toast, pancakes, etc just don't do much. Clarby would rather have an old fashioned cheeseburger...
Clarby is not opposed to picking up trash or the rejected, so where Dear Abby denies, Clarby replies. Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is...
It really wasn't too long ago that Golf wasn't very popular and the debate as to whether or not it was a sport was never very compelling. Then Tiger came around and all of...
Clarby hopes he never loses a loved one in an accident of any kind. Honestly he wishes that everyone goes peacefully when they pass away. Clarby can't begin to put...
"Double double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble"*The doublemint twinsJimmy and Chazz JeansSocksThe double playThe daily doubleThe two for oneDouble word...
Read this. Are you f*cking kidding me?! Clarby doesn't have children, but there is no doubt that Clarby is fit to be a parent. People who leave their children...
Not to be confused with our dear friend Zach who was just a legomaniac. I'm referring to those people who suffer from delusions of grandeur. I'm sure we could use...
So yesterday was a big day for people getting dominated.The Chinese dominated our female gymnasts. Michael Phelps and company continue to stick it to anyone that attempts...
Muppets are great, they make Clarby laugh. But what happens when friends commit muppetality? Yes, what happens when a friend takes home a muppet. This is very...
I ventured to a Piano Bar this weekend. If you've never been they are pretty cool. Basically two fairly skilled performers offer up their version of every song...
Buttercup baby just to let me down*Scientists are inching closer and closer to yet another amazing breakthrough that will no doubtably be used for badness! We've all seen...
Just as I began to think stupid people had gone into hiding for fear of being stamped, a group of them surfaces and my faith in people is tested yet again. "Save the...
Accepted/Expected Policies and ProceduresWhen you were little, seeing how far you could stand from the toilet and still make it into the toilet was a sweet game. As was...
I'm not sure who stole my email address and where they went with it but I never signed up for any site called Plaxo. I feel like Sir Samuel L. Jackson on that d*mned plane...
It's lift, put down, flush.Dear kind sir,Why you inconsiderate seat pissing bastard. All you have to do is lift the seat. I'm not even asking you to put it down. Clearly you...
There are probably many things that disturb me; people who wear toupees, stupid people procreating, most of the relationships in hollywood (spell check is telling me to...
Somebody please tell me what type of girl brings a Summer's Eve product to a bar and uses it in the bathroom? Honestly please please explain because I cannot begin to wrap...
So I just had a Big Red, no not a large fat woman with red hair, but the bubble gum flavored soda that every kid wanted after a YMCA soccer game when they were little. And...
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